How to cope after dating a narcissist

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The most common advice people hear when they are in a relationship with someone who has a dark triad personality is to leave them. But for some people, this may feel impossible because their life is so wrapped around the narcissist. Often, clients come to Neo asking what they can do to make their relationship work. Maybe they're married, or even have children together, and unraveling their entire world doesn't feel like an option.

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A narcissist, from a psychiatric perspective, is a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder NPDa formal diagnosis coined after years of psychoanalytic study.

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It is challenging and exhausting being romantically involved with a narcissistbut they can also cause havoc when they leave. Breakups are always hard, but when you've been in a relationship with someone who uses others and is obsessed with themselves, it can be even harder. On the surface, narcissists can seem charming, engaging and charismaticwhich can make them difficult to leave in the first place. Dr Judith Orloff, a clinical psychiatrist at the University of California Los Angeles, wrote in a blog post on Psychology Today that narcissists can make you "fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you're giving up a part of your heart to leave them," because they're very good at becoming the centre of your universe while you're with them.

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